Forgiven
by Fiery Keys
Summary: -"The only future I want is a one with you."- Post 5x15. Killian might have decided to come home with them and Liam might have moved on, but there are still things that have to be said and apologies to be made. Old insecurities come back to haunt Emma as she fears that she might not be good enough for Killian. Killian tries to get her to see that it's alright to forgive herself.


**Forgiven**

When Emma announces to her family that Killian has finally decided to come home with them from the Underworld, the news is met enthusiastically on all sides. Regina tries to appear unaffected, but her lips quirk into a small, relieved smile anyway, David and Robin clap Killian on the back with happy, satisfied grins. Mary Margaret and Henry both launch themselves at Killian with bear hugs that make the pirate gasp in a mixture of surprise and joy.

Emma watches quietly for a while before disappearing into her bedroom in the loft.

Shutting the door quickly, Emma collapses into the bed, leaning against the headboard as she tucks her knees under her chin. She stares blankly at the brightly patterned wall for a while, as the events of the day play out in her mind.

A sudden knock on the door startles her badly and Emma raises her hand defensively, ready to attack, when she hears Killian's muffled voice speak from beyond the closed door.

"Emma? Love, can I come in?"

Pulling herself together quickly, Emma lowers her defensive stance and speaks, wincing at the crack in her voice as she does.

"Yeah, come in."

Killian opens the door and strides in, his worried gaze softening when he spots her curled up on the bed. He sits down next to her and reaches out almost tentatively to take her hand. "Are you alright, Swan?"

Emma almost breaks into tears then and there at the kindness and love in his voice. How he can speak to her, look at her, with such care and affection even now; after everything she's said and done , Emma will never know.

"Emma?" Worry seeps into his voice now, at the sight of the unshed tears in her eyes and Emma chokes back a sob.

"It's just-" She manages, gulping slightly. "What your brother-what Liam said-"

The memory of Liam's calm words, spoken with such surety washes over her, making her flinch at the hard, cold truth behind them.

" _I already know you're not good enough for Killian."_

"Maybe he was right," Emma whispers. "Maybe I'm not good enough for you."

There's a long stretch of silence and when Emma finally dares to glance up at Killian, she sees that his face is full of disbelief.

"Swan, you can't possibly believe that," Killian says finally, incredulity in his voice. "Of course you're good enough! You're _more_ than I deserve!"

Emma shakes her head and lets out a harsh, bitter chuckle. "Am I? Killian, I turned you into a _Dark One_. And because of that, you _died_ and you ended up here in the Underworld, tortured by Hades-"

"I would've died anyway, Swan," Killian protests. " _You_ saved me."

"But I took away your choice," Emma says, ripping her gaze away from his. "It was the worst thing I could've possibly done to you."

Killian is quiet for a few moments, and Emma thinks she's driven him away, possibly for good, this time, when he speaks.

"If you truly believe that, then why did you come down to the Underworld to save me?"

Emma looks back at him. Killian's expression is a mixture of confusion, tiredness and hurt. She sighs, wishing she could just stop _hurting_ him and lifts her eyes to the ceiling and begins to speak.

"You didn't deserve the fate you got," Emma says quietly. "You deserved a second chance, a chance to have a future. I mean-it doesn't matter if you hate me, if you utterly despise me. You have every right to. That's fine. I-I mean, it isn't-" A sound that's a mixture of a laugh and a sob comes out of Emma's mouth and she squeezes her eyes shut. "But that's up to you. I'm done taking away your choice. I just-I just want you to be happy, I want you to have a future-even if it isn't with me."

"Swan," Killian says gently and tugs on her arm, turning her to face him. He rests his forehead against hers and Emma's heart stutters at the sensation of his breath fanning over her lips.

"The only future I want is a one with you," Killian whispers gently and Emma closes her eyes, a tear trickling down her cheek.

"What Liam said was wrong," Killian continues. "He didn't know you like I do, lass. He didn't know the strong, brave, beautiful woman who tied me to a tree and taught me to never doubt her a ability to detect lies ever again," Emma actually cracks a smile at that and Killian grins and nuzzles his nose against hers tenderly. "Look, Liam didn't really _know_ you the way I, or Henry or your parents do. I wish he could've. If he did, he would've loved you."

"You think so?" Emma asks doubtfully.

"Positive, love," Killian assures and then asks wonderingly, "I didn't know you wanted his approval so much."

Emma shrugs. "He's important to you," She says simply. "Of course I'd want it."

Killian absently presses a kiss to her cheek before he speaks. "If it makes you feel any better, love, he more or less gave us his blessing before he moved on."

Emma's eyes widen in shock. "Really?"

"Aye," Killian confirms with a nod. "See, there's no need to feel guilty, love. Even my upstanding, self righteous, stubborn arse of a brother approved of us."

"But the things I did-"

"Were terrible, yes, but I forgive you for them. And remember, what I proceeded to do after were far worse," Killian reminds her. "And the things I said to you," He shudders at the remembrance. "They were unforgivable, and you should despise me for it."

"You were consumed by the darkness," Emma argues, but Killian shakes his head.

"My actions were still my own."

"I forgive you, anyway," Emma says instantly. "All sins can be forgiven when someone loves you, remember? And I love you, Killian, no matter what you've done."

Emma sees tears glimmer in Killian's eyes at the echo of his own words. He blinks them away and whispers, his voice hoarse, "I love you too, Emma. And I forgive you, for whatever you did."

A tear slips down Emma's cheek, even as Killian presses a soft kiss to her lips. The guilt and insecurities had been haunting her, ever since they came down to the Underworld, but Killian banished them, just like _that_.

 _God_ , she loves him.

"We'll just have to agree to forgive each other, then," Emma murmurs when they part, and Killian's smile at her words is dazzling.

"Aye, love, I think we can manage that."

Emma rests her head on his shoulder, exhaling deeply as the exhaustion from the past two months washes over her. Killian gently rubs soothing circles on her arm.

"Sleep, love," He murmurs, his voice husky. "I'm here with you."

 _He forgives me,_ Emma thinks drowsily, as sleep begins to wash over her. _He loves me._

Forgiven, she finally falls asleep.


End file.
